The Gangster

Driving along with the windows wound down and my stereo turned up loud. I’m singing along to the music 'Come on everybody. Put your hands up in the air. Just move to the rhythm. Join in people everywhere’. I entertain myself with the idea that the band is advocating armed robbery.

I imagine myself walking in to a bank dressed in tight black clothes with a big bag in one hand and a sawn-off pump-action shotgun in the other. After I had gained everyone’s attention by shouting ‘Come on everybody. Put your hands up in the air’ I would ask a teller to hand over all his notes. Then I would lean against the counter, rest the shotgun on my shoulder and eat an apple. Eating an apple is cooler and healthier than lighting a cigarette.

My black Diablo would be waiting outside and I would drive off in to the desert.

But then I remember the bank robbery victim impact statement I heard once. Suddenly the whole thing doesn’t seem like fun any more.

That’s the thing about rock musicians - they don’t think about the consequences.